Purrsday Poetry: MY NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Hi everyone,

Please find below the latest entry in Purrsday Poetry by Jill Marie Morris:

MY NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

T’is the night after #Christmas and all thru the house, the dishes are done, need a Tide stick for my blouse ? . . .

The soggy towels are flung over the chair without care, I’m picking fruitcake and berries out of my hair ?? . . .

The cats are full o’ catnip ? and with magazine in my lap, I had just settled down for a post-Christmas cr*p ?. . .

When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the toilet ? to see ? what was the matter . . .

And what to my wondering eyes ?should appear? Holy cow ? it was none other than Leonardo DiCatrio ? drinking a beer! ? 

Away to the fridge I flew like a flash, he ran and hid as I discovered his #cat stash . . .

With the glow from the fridge on his brew’s frosty froth, his nose twinkled all black – Oh no! My #cat has gone #goth ! ?

A little over 6, still lively and slick, I knew in a moment he must have been possessed by Satan ?– that’s sick ? . . .

Faster than a hot minute ? his brother Merlin bounded, he looked at his sibling completely astounded ? . . .

He meowed and he hissed as Merlin called them out by name: @Heineken @budweiserusa domestic #IPAs ?

To the top of the table and then to the wall, Leonardo DiCatrio did tumble and fall . . .

As dry heaves set in, puking ? as only cool cats ? can do, this beer-buzzed #feline was high on the nip ? too . . .

Almost tinkling in my panties ?, I heard his paws scratch the floor, to the realization my kitty had gone goth ? and partied galore ?

As I drew a deep breath trying to rid him of a wild #demon ? , my #cat possessed seemed illogical – without reason ? . . .

Dressed in a tuxedo from his head to his foot, his fur was all tarnished with ashes and soot ??. . .

With a bottle of beer ? in his hooligan cat grasp, he raised it to his pursed kitty lips and grinned as I gasped! ?

With eyes glassy and soulless, his #cat stare was scary, I knew in a heartbeat ? I had to pray ?to Mary . . . 

His feline fangs ? sticking out like tiny knives ?, all the gnashing & thrashing was giving me hives!

Leonardo was trippin’ – his tail thumping – legs hoppin’ – I swear on my life it was a scene Straight Outta #Compton ??

The #devil ? had taken ahold of my #cat ? the day after #Christmas ?What the hell is up with that?! ?

I called out for help ? to get rid of the feline demon ? , as he twisted his head around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist – I was screamin’! ??

When out popped a beer-laden #furball – all green like pea soup. I had to refocus myself, run back and finish my poop ?

The room went all crazy. It was hazy and stuff. Confident I released Leonardo from the demon, I finally finished MY “stuff” . . .

And when I re-entered the kitchen there was no #beer ? or #cat ? in sight ? . . .

Leonardo DiCatrio was sleeping ? it off, Holy hell ? what a night! ?

The End (maybe)

Jill Marie Morris

If you would like to enter your own poems for Purrsday Poetry don’t forget to email info@katzenworld.co.uk

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Thanks,

Marc

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