Mother Come Dine With me
Mother, mother come dine with me
There’s plenty to eat and it’s fine with me
The cat food is tasty, the kibbles divine
And this dish of water is nectar and wine
Mother I’m big now but you are still small
I need you to look up to. This won’t do at all
My son, my wild child, I would dine with you
But it’s such a dangerous thing to do
There’s perils await inside the back door
My little cat nerves can take it no more
The plastic bags rustle the tin foil crunches
Too many times they have spoiled our lunches
The pots and the pans they clang and they crash
So out of the kitchen I fearfully dash
But Mother you told me inside was better
Than outside where it’s colder and darker and wetter
You told me the humans would treat us so kindly
Was I such a fool to believe you so blindly?
Hush, my son. Did I hear the word treaty?
They’re really crunchy and really meaty.
I’m coming dear human please wait for me
Put a few more on the plate for me
Now don’t call your mother a hypocrite
But I do like it inside, well, just a bit
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