Today’s guest post comes from our busy reporter Shrimp from hairballexpress:
Greetings Humans, Fleabags, and Furballs.
I have interrupted my usual exciting activities to bring you this SPECIAL REPORT:
IRS HIRES KATS TO SPY ON TAX CHEATERS
Sources at the IRS have just confirmed that the InFURnal Revenue Service is now facing budget cuts, so they have resorted to a less expensive means of spying on those tax cheaters.
While this has the humans in an uproar, kats’ purrsonal incomes have spiked dramatically as the IRS hires them to spy on the would-be cheaters. (SCORE)!
And speaking of budget cuts, the bad economy is also hurting felines everywhere -(those not employed by the IRS)- and some have found themselves resorting to desPURRate measures to make ends meet.
And, kats worldwide are growing increasingly disgusted as they witness what appears to be a rise of dog favor among their (previously) committed humans. Tragic indeed.
Partly because of this trend toward the lower life form (dogs), and partly because of the increased amount of time their humans spend on the computer, and playing on their iPhones, many kats have decided to give their negligent (and moronic) humans an ultimatum;
And now in addition to their other woes, kats are finding themselves getting sick because of Bad NIP!
Packages of RUFF WORLD katnip have been recalled (somewhat unwillingly) by the pack of *&*&* dogs who own the katnip company.
And finally, health experts have given in to international PURRessure from kats worldwide to recommend that humans eat more fish – (which means kats no longer have to catch their own)!
Good work to all those dedicated kats!
This has been Shrimp reporting fur KAT 9 NEWS. Goodnight!
*Photos courtesy of Pinterest & Cheezeburger*
Thanks for reading and please check out Shrimp’s blog by clicking here.
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