My name is Tiny Terror.
What I am about to tell you is so horrible, I cannot allow it to go on!
No matter what I do, there is no peace in this house!
If I find a place to be alone, Chilly Coon Kitty invades my space!
He can’t get to me up here!
But the human menace that feeds me took my pillow and blanket off the hard plastic of her cheap armoire. Now, the soft comfort I once enjoyed is on her bed! Selfish creature! Her cruelty knows no bounds!
It’s impossible to skitter over her at night, and make her pay for her insolence. I’d have to get past her guards.
Look at the eyes on the black one. He’s a demon, I tell you.
So this is my life, surrounded by dogs, hounded by Chilly Coon Kitty, and waiting…always waiting…for a human to open a can.
How long must I endure this…this…horror called my life!
After winter goes away, and springtime returns, I will once again run through the forests.
I will dream about living in a place where…
- humans open cans of food until I get the one I want,
- I sleep on the softness I deserve,
- no dogs prevent me from tormenting the human at night,
- the humans only pet me when I want it,
- and no other cats invade my space.
Until the time I am saved from this wretched place, please feel free to be very, very, sorry for me…
…and send tuna. Lots and lots of tuna, or salmon. I prefer it fresh.