Day 22 The Shady Business of the Cats
I made it through this morning’s trial and am relieved to say I am still a free woman! It was close, though. As the prosecution pointed out, I was aware of the illegal nature of Tiggy’s “business” right from the beginning. And at no point did I report any of it to the authorities. Fortunately my defense attorney was able to subpoena Goldie and Ruby (two of the hens), who were witnesses to the threatening conversation Tiggy had with me about protecting his interests. Once the jury heard that I was in fear of Tiggy’s retribution they unanimously baaaed “not-guilty”.
Casey’s attorney invoked the jury’s sympathy by expounding on the hold Casey’s catnip addiction had over her behavior. Yes, she did assist Tiggy in distributing his catnip, but it was only to secure more catnip to feed her own addiction. After deliberating for a while the ewes and rams of the jury came back with a recommendation leniency. So, she will be going to rehab for a while.
Tiggy’s case was a bit tougher. Clearly he was guilty, and he showed little remorse. I was called in as a character witness. I did my best to portray him as a good boy, but was pretty well ripped apart on the cross-examination. However, Tiggy’s attorney rose beautifully to re-direct. I passionately reminded them just how bad the rat situation was before Tiggy came to us. And I proposed a deal. How about if Tiggy agreed to limit his catnip production to his own personal use, with no more selling or distribution. The jury was out for a long time on this one. But I think the memory of how bad the rats used to be must have won out in the end. Tiggy did not get off scott-free. Mandatory attendance to a twelve-step program and community service for the next 18 months. He’s already grumbling about the community service. Training strays become “employable” as house cats is a waste of his valuable time, he says. But, when I remind him it beats spending the next year and a half in a cat crate he seems to be resigned to it.
So, for now the nightmare seems to be over. However, I’m not sure the sheep realize that catnip is a perennial that grows back form the roots. Eating the plants did not kill the roots. I’m just hoping that this experience has put enough of a scare into Tiggy and Casey to prevent them from starting their business up again. Hopefully they have been scaredy cat straight!