Guest Star: Madge, Huntress of Wool!

Hi everyone,

Today’s guest post comes from Madge the cat:

Hello all, I’m Madge, a rescue cat. I live with my adopted furry parents in Essex, in the UK. I’ve just turned 2 years old. I’ve been with my humans for around 8 months now. You may have read my blog at some point on . I was thrilled when Marc – Andre at Katzenworld suggested that I possibly do a guest blog. Thank you very much Katzenworld. As a rescue cat I feel in some ways it’s my duty to promote the welfare and protection of us felines. By the same token, while the safety of all animals is a serious subject I like to keep things a little light hearted.


Humans are very strange creatures aren’t they. I mean, as a cat, not only do I have remarkably good balance using all 4 legs, but I just find it easier getting around. Climbing stuff, hunting things, chasing balls etc etc..

When I want to turn around its quick, if I need to jump up on the bath, back legs for power, front legs for precision. Yet I watch my humans wobble into the bath, using their paws to hold on so they don’t fall over, and I think to myself.. Surely if they used all 4 paws like us it would be so much easier. Why humans insist on walking round everywhere on just their 2 back legs I will never understand.

The thing is, being a cat is very basic. Yes we have our needs, but all in all it’s very straightforward. We aren’t like those other 4 legged creatures that walk around after you just waiting for your every human command. I get a furball just thinking about them!.. I mean if you want your slippers, go and get them yourself..Those canines put us pets to shame. They’ll do anything for a pat on the head or a chew. If you humans are that bothered about what’s in the newspaper, get up out of MY chair and pick it up.

That’s how us cats see it. You are taking a liberty sitting in MY seat. The prospect of us animals running around after you shouldn’t even be considered. Don’t expect us as cats to do your legwork. Of course we are your pets and we do have an ounce of fondness towards you but we aren’t here to make your life easy. If you wanted easy you should have got a hamster!


For instance, it’s now 03:20 in the morning. I’m dictating this to furry dad as he was kind enough to go downstairs for some water, and I thought, well while we are down here, we might as well make the most of it.. Hang out for a bit, chase my ball about. At a push we might get the little red light out for me to scarper after. He can give me a bit of a rubdown, I’m awake now, no point in wasting it. I get a sneaky suspicion he wants to go back to bed, but hey I need to clear my mind of these thoughts or it’ll all be forgotten. It’s not as if he has to get up in the morning, or anything like that right…

First rule of being a cat is easy. We do what we want, when we want. At 2am in the morning, when I’m launching myself around the house with little consideration for waking up my humans, it’s not because I’ve seen a ghost!.. Noooooo, it’s simply down to me having got my cat needy 15 hours in earlier and now it’s play – time!… I use my cat timer ( it’s in my head, I don’t wear a little Casio digital number, although that would be quite cool ) to see if I can beat my previous record.

Always the same course. Starting point –  Living room window ledge, across to the sofa, straight to our stairs, which let me tell you, because they are wood can be a bit tricky, I tend to drift that sharp right. Up the stairs at full tilt, sharp right again and into the spare room. A quick jump onto MY chair ( if I’m lucky it rotates ), and off again… Then it’s straight across the landing, into the furries room. Onto the chest of drawers and through the curtains onto the window ledge. A quick breather and then a burst through the curtains, scamper out of the room immediate left and back down the stairs. Chuck another sharp drifting left back through the stair well and cushion wall, across the sofa and up to the starting point.

Now I could, and sometimes do attempt this during the day but I find it more challenging at night with no lights on. I think the furries fing it quite challenging as well, though maybe in a different way!… Quite often I will hear them talking as I’m on my 2nd lap.


“Madge, it’s 3 o’clock in the morning, give it a rest”… But obviously I’m timing myself I’ve got no time to chew the fat, so I will leave it 30/40 minutes then pop up and jump on the bed for a chat.. I know the alarm will be due to go off in 2 or 3 hours so I look at it as a pre – alarm, alarm call. Here’s another thing. In our house my furries only have 1 main sleeping vessel. How can they survive with only 1 place to sleep ?… I’m not including furry dads tendency to fall asleep in MY chair!

I’m counting my sleeping arrangements. I make it that I have at least 14 different places to take a nap. At the moment my favourite places are the window ledge in the living room. I can sleep, but also watch the world go by. The chair that rotates in the spare room. It has a nice blanket on it, so it’s snuggly. I like resting my eyes during the day under the dinner table on any of the chairs. The cushions are very comfy. Then again, I think maybe it’s just a cat thing, but any new soft furnishing in the house needs to get my seal of approval. By that I mean it needs to be left somewhere so that I can lay on it. Take ownership of new cushions and blankets. Test them out for the furries.

Another strange thing about humans in general. As an indoor cat for the time being I have to speak out on behalf of others but why is it, when we cats bring presents home from the garden that the furries get all freaked out. The odd dead bird, an occasional frog, a mouse. We bring you these vast array of beautiful gifts and all humans do is pull a face, and put our presents in the bin. That’s gratitude for you. I was due to get my first day out around now, but there are lots of people working on the house next door and my furries feel it may not be safe for me outside. As much as I want to go out I understand their reservations and so I wait. My time will come.

Thanks again to those kind folk here at Katzenworld

Hope you have enjoyed reading my blog. If you have, let the guys and girls at Katzenworld know and they may have me back… If you haven’t, I’m a cat, do you think I really care… ( of course I do ), but anyway, I’m off to find a decent ball of wool… AHA!….


Madge xx

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23 thoughts on “Guest Star: Madge, Huntress of Wool!

  1. franhunne4u says:

    You can be glad you are not living with me, Madge. If my two furcoat-owners get wild at night, I just close the bedroom door after they bolted out … and open it a few minutes later. They come back silently – and hop on the bed and know they have gone a tad too far.

  2. angela1313 says:

    I always enjoy meeting new cats and you are a very interesting gir,l Madge. It’s been so hot where we live I sleep all day with the cats and get up at night too, so I would like your game.

  3. Pingback: Guest Star: Madge, Huntress of Wool! | Buzzy World

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