Boys Will Be Boys

Boys Will Be BoysWe’re rapidly getting closer to the anniversary of Sampson moving to live with us here in Finland. It was 8th May last year that he finally got to us. That just happens to be his birthday. And Elvis’s too!

Elvis is the older of the two. He’ll turn eleven on this coming birthday, whilst Sampson will be seven.

The relationship between Elvis and Sampson is a little bit rocky. Whilst I’ve known them both to be very cuddly with other cats before (Elvis with our foster kittens, Sampson with his friends back in England) they’ve not yet got to the stage that they are willing to snuggle up together.

That saddens me because I know they both love a good kitty-snuggle.

Boys Will Be Boys 2But there is hope. Once in a while they will get along. They’ll sleep near to each other, if not right next to each other. They’ll exchange nose kisses. Sometimes Elvis will even groom Sampson for a short while.

Unfortunately more often they will bicker. Mostly when Sampson is hungry. Usually it’s limited to growling and a little bit of hissing. Sometimes there might be swiping at each other. On one occasion we did come home to find the hallway covered in clumps of fur after they’d presumably had a disagreement.

Boys Will Be Boys 3It’s hard to know what to do to help them get along better. It’s probably just a case of just giving them time, but waiting is so difficult! I’d love to be able to wave a magic wand and have them get along perfectly. (And with Lola too!) But it’s lovely to see the hints every now and then, that things are improving. And that maybe, just maybe, they might become friends.

Love,

Lady Joyful

Do your cats get along with each other, just tolerate one another, or bicker? Do you have tips to share on how to help cats learn to get along?

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21 thoughts on “Boys Will Be Boys

  1. My two got along well from the very first moment. Terrified newcomer Kessy darted under my bed and found my Tom hiding there (the doorbell had rung when somebody brought Kessy to my place). They did not hiss. They did not gnarl. They did not do anything but eye each other. FunTom with a little bit of “What is that?” in his expression. Kessy still terrified and glad there was another feline!

    Since then they move through all of the registers of interfeline behaviour. From hissing fits, fur flying standoffs to nose-kisses, butt-sniffing, cuddling up with each other when the doorbell rings and the living room door is closed … Each night we three share my bed. Both cats spread on the cover and me trying to fit my feet somewhere among them 😉

    FunTom is 11 this May and sleeps a lot, mostly on the sofa, during the day. Kessy is more active and plays and tries to monopolize the bed. But when it is feeding time both eat next to each other without any food jealousy!

    I was VERY LUCKY!

  2. Sometimes they just have to figure it out for themselves. The fact that they sleep near one another, and sometimes groom one another is huge if you ask me. I have three cats. None of them snuggle, and never have. First set of cats I’ve had that didn’t snuggle. Smokey and Elsa are 14 and 13, respectively, and they have never snuggled or groomed one another. They will sleep on my bed near one another. And do get along in that there is no hissing or growling. Teeger is only five, so she still is quite playful. This does not set well with Smokey and Elsa, so poor Teeger gets growled at a good bit, particularly by Elsa. However, I do see all of them touch noses on occasion. I’d say after not quite a year of bringing two adult cats together, and adult cats that were several years old, that they are doing pretty well. As my brother once told me, “Even if they are never best friends. That fact that the other one is there, and each cat is not alone, is sometimes companionship enough”. Here’s the crazy thing at my house………….my dog, Holly, and Elsa have never gotten along. Suddenly, when Holly turned seven, she and Elsa began being able to be on my bed together. That was huge! Now? Elsa rubs up against Holly. 😮

  3. My two get along but my second cat was introduced as a kitten, probably less threatening to #1. If yours are having knockdown drag outs with fur flying, you may need to separate them when you are not home to supervise. As long as they tolerate each other, I wouldn’t push the issue. If they want to cuddle, they will do it in their own time. You didn’t mention feeding, but I feed separately so they do not have to compete for food. Nothing is worse than animals that fight and don’t tolerate each other.

    1. They generally tolerate each other, though there are times that they get annoyed with each other. We do feed the boys together but we do it where we can keep an eye on them and they each stick to their own bowls (generally). Fur flying is rare, although happening at all is more than we like! Thanks for the comment 🙂

    1. I think we have some somewhere… We used it to help calm them all when we were moving (8 hours in the car!) I’ll try and find it 🙂 Thanks for commenting!

  4. For the most part, my guys (I have six-Bailey, Bono, Taz, Geordi, Cleveland and Casey) all get along. They will sleep near each other, if not snuggling, groom each other and take up my bed at times (I have no problem with that!). But, not too long ago, Bailey started to have an issue with Geordi and will follow him around, yowling at him several times a day. When Geordi has had enough he will yowl back and a fight erupts (this happens infrequently). What I have started doing is separating them when the yowling starts – kind of like a time out. After a short while, I let them about their business and it all has calmed down. Also use Feliway – not sure if it is helping, but it does not hurt!

    1. It’s good that you know the warning signs! With ours it’s hissing, and we do separate them if/when we notice it. I’ll see if I can dig out our Feliway – sure we have some somewhere! Thanks for commenting 🙂

  5. They more than likely will continue with their rocky relationship. Males aren’t very tolerant of each other. That’s Mother Nature’s doing.

    1. Yeah, that could well be true. That said though, Sampson used to live with three other males and got on brilliantly with them (and they did with each other too.) I still have some hope 🙂

  6. My older cat has yet to befriend the two kittens we adopted and they are almost full grown. Good luck!

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