The Best Places to Hide from Human Kittens!

Hello world! My name is Gwendolynn Anne Marie Stefani Collins-Silver. You may call me Gwennie. I’m extremely intelligent and exquisitely beautiful. I’m also very modest – as most cats are. I’m the disgruntled owner of two adults, two human kittens and my…ahem…sister, Little Missy. She’s ugly. I’ll show you a picture of her in a bit so you have time to adjust before you’re completely traumatized.

A few years after I adopted Momma, Momma married Boy-Dadda and started having human kittens – a fact that still annoys me to this day. Needless to say, Little Missy and I have adapted to their existence. Well, I’ve adapted, Little Missy still has a few things to figure out – like where to hide when she’s being chased. She seems to think that the best place to hide is on Momma’s lap. Clearly Little Missy hasn’t been paying attention. The Little Thing and his minion are not afraid of Momma. If they want food, they find Momma. If they’re sick, they find Momma. If they want to play, they find Boy-Dadda. Weirdos!

Poor Little Missy. I feel so sorry for her. It must be so awful to be so ugly.

Photo 2

Momma says Little Missy isn’t mean; she’s pretty and looks just like me. Rude! Here’s another picture of me. You be the judge!

Photo 1 & Photo 3

The point of all of this was to instruct other cats on where they can hide from human kittens. Little Missy, I hope you’re reading this! I’m fortunate to have three hiding places that haven’t been invaded yet.

  1. Under Momma’s bed. The human kittens are far too busy knocking things off the nightstand to look under the bed.
  2. In the basement closet, behind the suitcases. Momma went looking in there for me once, and couldn’t find me. Hee, hee! I was in there!
  3. Inside Momma’s shower.

Photo4

Momma usually keeps the shower curtain closed during the day, making it an ideal hiding place. Just make sure if you hear your human coming that you get out of the way! They don’t always check for occupants when turning the water on.

Now it’s my turn to ask you: Where do you go to hide from your human kittens?

My name is Gwendolynn Anne Marie Stefani Collins-Silver. I’m a cat and I don’t care….about anything except for my momma, A. Marie Silver – mother of two human kittens and editor of a literary magazine that no one cares about because it’s not about me!

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A. Marie Silver is a mother to a three-year-old who growls for no particular reason and a 2-year-old who chews on the furniture. When she’s not trying to convince her children they are, in fact, human, she is also a wife, an editor for Pilcrow & Dagger, and a writer working on her first novel.

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23 thoughts on “The Best Places to Hide from Human Kittens!

  1. Hu! Im Sonu Singh…I tried the shower curtain too. It was great until mummy changed it to a see through one so they can see me straight away!
    Personally I like the top of the fridge, or I hide on dining table chairs! Its funny listening to them calling .e, and crawling around looking for me, then they remember…!
    But right now, my seasonal favourite is the corner behind that lovely sparkly scratching post they have put up for me! It has lights and toys too! So considerate of them all!!!

  2. Hi, Gwennie, I’m Other Brother Coon Cat. I’d rather have human kittens to run from than 4 dogs. When I purr, they think I’m growling at them. My brother and I have a cushion that takes up 1/2 of mom’s desk so excited dogs don’t trample us on the way out the dog door.

    Count your blessings, Gwennie. Be thankful you’ve never curled up next to your mom and had to run like a heck to get away from a 68 pound Fat White Dog who thinks that falling on top of you will rid her of the thing that’s taking up the mom arm.

    1. That’s very true! My house is dog free. BUT! Little Missy and I have both been body-slammed by the two-year-old, while sitting on Momma’s lap. Human kittens are RUDE!!!!

  3. Many moons ago, when cat Spike was a kitten, a human dropped over with her three young human kittens. One of the human kittens proceeded to chase poor Spike around the apartment until he decided to crawl under the stove (he was THAT small). Human kitten then proceeded to lay on the floor of the kitchen, face to the bottom of the stove, and cried, “Mary, why won’t he come out?” Ummmm…

    1. Oops! Poor Kitty! Grandma had a kitty who found a whole in the back of the cupboard that went behind the dry wall. She got lost in the wall. Grandma was very panicked. She left the cupboard door open and shined a flashlight inside. Eventually the kitty found her way out and naturally acted as though nothing had happened.

      1. LOL! My cat Gibbs found a similar hole, but ended up in the back of the lazy-susan cabinet. Thankfully, he found his way out before I totally panicked. I had the landlord come the next day to patch the hole.

  4. Hi Gwennie,
    I’m Diavolo and I think you are beautiful!
    My favorite place to hide is under my mom’s bed. I’m lucky that there are no human kittens or dogs here but I can hide from things like lawn mowers and leaf blowers and,oh, yeah, the vacuum cleaner!

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