BREAKING MEWS! Hello Kitty not a cat?! … AND SHES BRITISH?!

Here’s a brief profile:
Name: Hello Kitty
Age: 40
Nationality: British
Appearance: A Cat, she clearly has cat ears, whiskers and a cute tiny nose. With her many outfits she appears to be the the queen of all cats. But wait, shes NOT?!


The news: Japanese cultural phenomenon Hello Kitty is turning 40 this week, and though the billion-dollar sensation hasn’t aged one bit, her creators have revealed something kind of startling: Hello Kitty, apparently, is not a kitty at all.

In a Los Angeles Times report, Harvard anthropologist Christine R. Yano explained that while preparing written texts for an exhibit at the Japanese American National Museum, Hello Kitty’s corporate owner, Sanrio, quickly corrected Yano for referring the cartoon character as a cat:

“I was corrected — very firmly. That’s one correction Sanrio made for my script for the show. Hello Kitty is not a cat. She’s a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She’s never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature. She does have a pet cat of her own, however, and it’s called Charmmy Kitty.”

Wait, what? Yano also explained Hello Kitty’s backstory: She’s British, has a twin sister and is a “perpetual third-grader.” In the ’70s, when Hello Kitty was created, Japanese women “loved the idea of Britain. It represented the quintessential idealized childhood, almost like a white-picket fence. So the biography was created exactly for the tastes of that time.”

Behold, a Google search does, in fact, reveal that Charmmy Kitty does look much more like a real-life cat than Hello Kitty. Sanrio’s site has a little more mention of said twin sister Mimmy, who apparently is not at all resentful of her sister’s massive success. Her family also seems properly British, with bonnets and embroidering and mentions of pudding.

Still confused? That’s not surprising — there’s no explanation what Hello Kitty actually is. Some strange English genetic hybrid? An alien life form sent to scout the planet before its furry masters arrive to usher in a new dark age? Some kind of albino demon?

Hello Kitty may be a little girl, she clearly isn’t a human one. She never ages, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even have a mouth. Whatever Hello Kitty happens to be, I really hope it’s satisfied with an annual blood sacrifice of billions in sales.

She also has cat ears and whiskers, though. Yes, they didn’t really explain that bit. Or why they give her height as “five apples” and her weight as an unhealthy sounding “three apples”.

Is she perhaps a British girl with some sort of cat-transformation syndrome? Should we all throw ice water on our heads for her? No, she’s just a girl called Kitty White, with parents called George and Mary White, and she lives in the suburbs of London.

Where? Catford? Caterham? Barking? No one is quite sure. Apparently, when she was designed in the 1970s, Japan was crazy for all things British. Yano told the LA Times, “They loved the idea of Britain … So the biography was created exactly for the tastes of that time.”

I’m inexplicably annoyed about this. You’re not the only one. Josh Groban tweeted: “Hello Kitty is a cat. She has whiskers and a cat nose. Girls don’t look like that. Stop this nonsense.”

Are the fans upset? Apparently not – Yano says that, like us, many people don’t know the story “and a lot don’t care”.

Anything else I should know? Is Goofy still a dog? Is Minnie a mouse? Bugs a bunny? I have no idea. I’m not sure of anything any more.

Would you mind checking? I need to lie down. Of course. I’ll get back to you.

Do say: “Someone still needs to explain the cat ears.”

Don’t say: “I know loads of British girls with whiskers.”

Source: Theguardian, ArtsMic
KATZENWORLDLOGOnowordsThis news was brought to you by Katzenworld. Since we did not get exclusive coverage the information was provided by other sources mentioned above, so we do not take credit what the information above. Please visit the sources for more.

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27 thoughts on “BREAKING MEWS! Hello Kitty not a cat?! … AND SHES BRITISH?!

  1. mvaden1948 says:

    OMG! Does that mean Superman really doesn’t have super powers?
    What other myth will be exploded next?
    It was on the news on Good Morning America here. And I’ll bet it will be all over the national news this evening.
    I agree with the suggestion that she is really an alien being preparing the way for the furry takeover.

  2. syl65 says:

    I heard this on the radio this morning and nearly drove off the road. Must be some parallel world where little girls resemble kitty cats.

  3. fozziemum says:

    She will always be a kitty to me..i have a daughter and pretty sure she has no whiskers…I do know Skippy was a kangaroo….or maybe a wallaby…still being debated..maybe a great way to garner some interest in Hello Kitty..who knows..:)

  4. speedyrabbit says:

    Well its all a bit silly this stuff about hello Kitty!
    But Don’t worry I am a rabbit a real life rabbit so there can be no mix up about that….hehehe a rabbit called Speedy who happens to be a Pirate and a knight of the realm…hehehe,xx Speedy

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