It’s Not Silly to Cry when your Cat Dies…..

As passionate cat lovers, the thing we dread most is our cats dying. You have cared and loved your feline friend all of their lives or maybe some of it, however long they have been in your life, you love them unconditionally……

Art work by KT Shepherd

Your cat maybe going with you to the vets on its final journey or your cat may pass away naturally at home, hopefully with you. I’ve had my cats pass away after euthanasia at the vets and also after a home visit by the vet and I would always try to have this option if possible but of course it’s not always practical…….. As a cat sitter I will always stay with a cat if it needs to be euthanized while their family are away on holiday, I hope this offers some comfort to the cat and its family and the cat is a friend to me also……

Pet bereavement is slowly becoming more recognised as a highly emotional issue and I have noticed over the recent years more understanding surrounding the subject. Just the other day I noticed in my local vets a sign by a candle asking people to be respectful and speak softly if the candle is lit as someone is saying goodbye to their cat….. How touching and thoughtful is that?

I have also noticed some veterinary surgeries have special rooms for euthanasia, which is so much better and peaceful for the cat and the family.

So if you or someone you know has recently had a cat pass away what should you not say and what things will help……

It was just a cat, you can get another one!

Ummmmm not helpful at all! Their cat was family and they are heartbroken, it’s not like getting a new mobile…..

OMG you had your cat cremated, isn’t that like weird?

No not weird at all, some people choose to have their cat’s body cremated; many people can’t have their cat buried in the garden. To be honest it’s up to you how you deal with your cat’s body.

They were too old and sick anyway.

This is not helpful or kind, would you say this if it was the person’s human family? I think my point here is, please be tactful before you speak.

Oh you will get over it and move on, you have other pets.

Please remember everyone is different and deals with grief differently. Each relationship we have with our cats is different and we all take our own time to grieve.

It’s also important to remember grieving over an animal that has died can be a huge trigger for unresolved past grief which can lead to huge sadness and depression in a person. I once stayed with a cat sitting client while she had her cat euthanized at home; she had no one else and wanted someone there who understood how much she loved her cat. Even though the situation was handled calmly, peacefully and professionally by the vet, sadly the lady was extremely traumatised by the whole experience and I was very concerned for her. She later told me that her husband had died 3 months ago and this was the first time she had really cried.

Things to Help with Cat Grief

  • Most important CRY!
  • After euthanasia ask the vet to leave you alone for a while so you can say goodbye to your cat and keep a fur clipping/collar.
  • Make a remembrance area in your home or garden of your cat, using photos or drawings of them. Have a garden ornament maybe and scatter their ashes there.
  • Give a donation to a local cat charity.
  • Pop their ashes into a plant pot in the garden, maybe with roses in?
  • When you feel able, surround yourself with like minded people and talk about the whole experience.
  • CRY some more!
  • If you have no one to talk to there are people who can help click here

Just try to remember that losing a cat is an extremely difficult time and they are family so a big part of our lives and it certainly isn’t silly to grieve their loss.

Some people like to remember their cats with photos in a special place in the home.

Rachel from Portsmouth Cat Sitting is on Instagram @PortsmouthCatSitting and Facebook

Portsmouth Cat Sitting Mog Blog is here

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28 thoughts on “It’s Not Silly to Cry when your Cat Dies…..

  1. The Lit Biwi says:

    Lovely! Hey, I seem to have lost half my following once I changed my URL, it would be great if you could help me get my followers back. If you like my posts, please follow? (Formerly Lilrant.) thank you!

  2. (Kitty) Cat Strawberry - Meow! says:

    Thank you ❤️. This was a wonderful post to read and something everyone needs to understand. For me, crying happened for a long time and it’s the same feelings as crying for a human loved one’s passing. Everyone grieves differently and we all need to cry to let it out❤️❤️☺️

  3. Léa says:

    Some excellent adivce here. I always encourge clients to do something creative, write a letter to the cat, a poem for it or about cats, a story, paint a picture or what ever way you find yourself able to express the feelings that need a way to be honored. Plant a memorial garden, help out at a shelter, feed and even help trap strays so they can have a better life without contributing new generations of strays. These are excellent ways to honor the feline that gave you so much. Most of all, be kind to yourself and when the time is right, no set time as we are all different, there will be another feline out there that will benefit from your caring and you will both have much love to share. It isn’t the same, but it isn’t supposed to be. Each is a new beginning. Hugs, Léa and the feline masters of the house.

  4. Rohvannyn says:

    I”m revisiting this post as I search for consolation. I know my dear Nezumi is still with me, non physically, but I will always miss having her around in body as well as in spirit. I know for a fact I’ve cried harder for her than for any of the other people I’ve lost. Thank you for this article.

  5. slinkythecat says:

    I am new to blogging and am just starting my own blog (I have a lot to learn so it’s not ready yet). I am learning that there are so many people out there who are good writers so it’s kind of daunting for me.

    Anyway, I spoke to someone by phone who I didn’t even know and my grief about the death of Slinky my cat just spontaneously erupted (I cried) in mid-conversation with her. She was very nice. One thing led to another in our conversation and she recommended that I write a blog as a means of healing (it’s what she does). So that’s what I’m going to do.

    As I started to explore the world of blogs I came upon this post. It was very moving. I have read some of the comments on this post and have to add my thanks to you for writing this. You are right, I does help to cry, you just can’t always control when you do it.

    Thanks again.

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